Knitting as radical, body-positive, self love

TW/CW: No numbers in this post, but discussion of disordered eating and the weight loss industry. 

Alright, alright. I know I’ve been yammering on about this a lot lately. I also know that some folks (about 75 of them) decided that my body positive posts were too much for them, and unfollowed. That’s cool. It’s their prerogative. I also had some folks inbox me on Instagram to tell me that my statements about the diet industry are wrong and that I definitely *could* lose weight, if I just tried a little bit harder. 

Well. 

I’ve been in this body for 30 years. I’ve been up and down the scale, I’ve struggled with emotional eating and binge behaviours in the past. I’ve been very athletically active, and I’ve been sedentary. I know my body better than any rando internet commenter. And you know what? This body will never be a size 6 and healthy. When I’m eating healthy (fruits, veggies, whole grains, you know the drill), and being moderately active, I am roughly the size I currently am. I’ve been on extremely restrictive “””nutritional eating programs””” that made me miserable, and I didn’t even shrink one size. 

Here’s the thing: studies have shown that radical weight loss is almost impossible to sustain. So why are we all spending £££$$$£££ trying to be in the teeny tiny micro-percentage of people who can attain it, and sustain it? I say ENOUGH. 

 

And you know what else? 

 

I’m not putting off knitting for myself anymore. I’ve seen it countless times in Facebook groups, as side comments at yarn festivals, and in conversations with some whip smart, clever women that I love: they want to wait until they lose X pounds, before they’ll treat themselves to a garment. 

WHY??? 

Why deprive yourself? If a loved friend said they wanted a garment, you’d encourage them, not raise your eyebrows in admonishment and tell them to lose a few before they cast on, so why is it acceptable to be so mean towards yourself? It’s akin to abuse, and we need to knock it off. 

Finishing the Sunset Highway sweater was an unexpectedly freeing experience for me, even though I’ve knitted myself garments before. This one took me longer, used nicer yarn, cost more in time and money to create. I was afraid I would hate it. I was afraid it would make me look “””fat.””” 

 

LET IT BE KNOWN: knitting yourself a sweater is a radical act of self love and #bodypositivity. I get really sad when I see whip smart, clever AF knitters say they “don’t deserve” to knit themselves a sweater, that they need to lose XYZ pounds before they’ll allow themselves to cast on. Listen friends, there’s loads of research that suggests significant weight loss is almost impossible to sustain. I’ve been up and down the scale my whole entire life, and weight has been this nasty cloud over me for too long. LIVE YOUR LIVES. Knit that sweater, go on that snorkeling vacation, take photos with your friends. Don’t let an arbitrary number on a scale dictate how you love your lives. Stop punishing yourselves. Knit yourself a sweater and show the world that you are unashamedly YOU. #imarealknitter #knitsnotbots #bodyposi #igknitters #bodypositive #knitspo #sunsethighwaysweater

A post shared by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Sep 25, 2018 at 10:24am PDT

It doesn’t matter if it does or doesn’t. It doesn’t matter if I’m smaller or bigger than you. What matters is that I knit myself a hug. A cosy, soft, gorgeous self-loving hug, and I will be damned if I don’t wear it at least twice a week until spring.

Knit yourself a goddamn sweater (cardigan/poncho/coat/etc). Knit (or crochet) yourself a hug.

(To those asking me which yarns were used: Practical Magic (purple), Venusarus Rex (light green), Yoda’s Lightsaber (mid green), and Gamora (main body green, the bottom looks lighter because I used a seconds skein.))

(To all of you who asked about my boots: they are Doc Martens, I found them on eBay 3 years ago and they are my favourite. I made the laces from some awesome ribbon.)