Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been a bit quiet on social media and the blog lately. Life has been throwing some serious curveballs, and I’ve either been hibernating, planning, or being too swamped to function.

June flew by in a mess of visits, flights, politics, and everyday inconveniences. We went to Italy with my mom and her friend Lina in the beginning of June, and it was fabulous, as you can expect. We showed them around London for the five seconds they were here, they met my partner’s parents, they returned home to Chicago.

GELATO and crochet break in Florence! The secret shawl is coming along nicely and I couldn’t ask for a better location. 🍦

A photo posted by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Jun 10, 2016 at 5:07am PDT

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The day after they returned, my partner’s parents got a new dog. Her name is Bea, she’s from Greece, and she likes to steal sandwiches. This is a Big Deal for us, because we live about two seconds away and are house/dogsitting at the end of this month. Meet the new dog, take her for walks, get everything squared away for house sitting.

Two days after that, the Referendum happened, and I’m still not prepared to talk about what it means for us. You can read my vague post about it if you’re curious, but suffice it to say it’s going to heavily impact me personally and the communities I love – Artesano already folded last week, in part due to the pound dropping in value. I fear it will disproportionately affect small businesses and makers – but that’s another blog post.

July continued to fly by, with a 4th of July weekend campervan trip to the Stiffkey Salt Flats in Norfolk. I did a mini-photo shoot with the new Siren’s Sea shawl, which will be available later this week (I hope).

Another snap of the finished “secret shawl” which is yet to have a name. What do you think I should name it? I’m in the process of filming a short tutorial on how to start the shawl, which will be available in the pattern. It will be a paid pattern (thank you all for your kind support!) but I promise it won’t be much. So: what should I name this shawl? (Happy Sunday!)

A photo posted by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Jul 10, 2016 at 5:12am PDT

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Then something pretty huge happened. I was offered a position at Laughing Hens yarn to do their content and social media. I accepted, naturally, and I couldn’t be happier about it. They specialize in natural fibers, and I love the vibe they have going on. So it’s the end of one era and the beginning of another, and life goes on.

I’ve been planning some epic projects for Crochet Now magazine – more on that later. Let’s just say there’s a little bit of something for everyone.

Happy crafting!

Last weekend, 50 people were murdered at a gay club in Orlando, Florida. It was a sickening hate crime towards LGBT people – but to the LGBT community, this is just another reminder that marriage equality didn’t solve all of the problems in society.

Anyone who has spent more than ten minutes in my presence knows something about me: I am a gay woman. I’m lucky enough to be married to the love of my life, a woman who is the reason that I get up in the morning. She’s smart as a whip, kind, generous, and most importantly, she puts up with my ever-growing yarn stash.

We got married almost three years ago, at a castle in Scotland. It was beautiful, quiet, and perfect for us. No fuss, just loved ones, food, a bagpiper, and sparkly converse shoes.

When I first joined the crafting community as a creator, someone in the industry told me that I should keep my marriage quiet. “It could offend traditional crafters,” they said. Maybe that’s true.

And so, even though I’m not “in the closet” so to speak, I don’t talk about my wife in professional spheres with people I don’t know. I didn’t want to be ostracized or boycotted because of one facet of my personality, I didn’t want to be reduced to that.

But after last weekend’s tragedy, I’m saying, “No more.”

If we are still living in a world where someone hates LGBT people so much that they would gun down 50 members of the community, then I can’t afford to be silent and quiet. We’ve come so far as a society, but when this kind of hatred and violence exists, it’s clear we’re not done yet. When fundamentalist groups still preach death to LGBT people and toxic, oppressive attitudes still reign supreme in some areas, we are not done.

I’m not done.

If you want to help, you can donate money to the victims here. You can speak up when you hear hate. You can teach children not to hate.

Love, is love, is love.

I get by with a little help from my friends, oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. I’ve been very lucky in life to meet some truly kind, giving, and open people with hearts of gold. That’s the only bad part about living all over the world – leaving friends behind. I don’t know how we’d get by without social media to keep in touch, I’d have hundreds of hand-written letters to send if I was living 100 years ago!

Friend and fellow crafter/blog editor Merion knew I’ve been feeling stressed and a bit down lately. Call it the change of the seasons, call it stress from work, or call it not getting enough sleep, I’ve just not had much motivation or “zing” the past couple weeks.

Last week, I walked into the office to discover these precious beauties on my desk:

(There was also chocolate, but no photographic evidence of that, because I ate it all. Oops.)

First of all, I haven’t stopped petting that KnitPicks Billow yarn since I found it on my desk. It’s SO. SOFT. It’s the best chunky cotton I’ve ever felt, and I’m obsessed with it. I need more. MORE. I want to make a giant fluffy bed out of it and sleep in it forever.

She also gave me a Little Box of Crochet! I was totally blown away by her kindness, and simultaneously overcome with excitement. Little Box of Crochet is the best subscription box I’ve ever encountered (and I like presents, so I’ve tried a lot of them). Each box contains everything you need for a little project designed by a big name in the crochet community every month.

Yarn, a subscription crochet box, and chocolate. Nothing else could turn my mood around that fast, except maybe coming home to a brand new Playstation 4 and the newest Tomb Raider game. The way to my heart is through my crafting and my addiction to chocolate, that’s for sure.

I started to unbox my Little Box of Crochet…

Am I excited? Um, YES….! It’s like Christmas in June!

Oh my GOD. Amigurumi mushrooms?! I LOVE IT. These cuties were designed by the fabulous Kate Bruning of Greedy for Colour, and I seriously can’t wait to get started. Can all my other time sensitive projects just finish themselves now, please?

These mushrooms feature the stunning Scheepjes Stonewashed yarn, and the Little Box of Crochet comes with everything in this picture. The yarn to make the projects, stitch markers, a gorgeous pattern, and a new hook! (note: this is not a sponsored post, and I’m not getting paid to say this. This is pure, unadulterated crochet enthusiasm for an awesome idea that really made me smile!)

But seriously, I want to make these mushrooms RIGHT NOW. Can I just pretend I don’t have magazine yarn reviews to right, designs to finish, block, and pitch, or a trip to plan and pack for? Can I just ignore all of that now, and make mushrooms, and take pictures of them in my fledgling vegetable garden?

In any case, I’m very grateful that Merion is my friend and colleague – she’s one of the kindest, most selfless people I know. I just have to figure out what to get her when I’m in Italy next week! Italian yarn, anyone? (Yes, I’m looking up yarn shops in Florence….again.)

I think we all know how hard it is to be selfish sometimes. With deadlines for work, family responsibilities, friends who need you, community gardens that need tending, and everything else, it’s almost impossible to get a moment for yourself.

It’s been a crazy few weeks for me, between preparing magazine materials (did you hear that I’m doing Crochet Now Magazine’s monthly yarn review?), my regular responsibilities for work, planning my own projects and the next tutorial, trying to spend at least a few minutes a day with my wife, and preparing for our trip to Florence in a couple of weeks. I’ve barely gotten a moment of peace to myself. I’ve been up early with photography, and late to bed with project planning.

This morning, I staked my Angie flag in the day and declared 90 minutes just for ME.

I started off with a cup of mocha coffee (1 teaspoon of instant coffee, 1 teaspoon of hot chocolate), my new skull spoons, and some chill out crochet. Yes, it’s a project I’m designing, but I’m designing it for selfish reasons, so it doesn’t count. I hopped onto the computer and settled in to (finally) watch the The Good Wife series finale. The craft and internet gods shone on me this morning, because for once, the wi-fi wasn’t painfully slow.

90 minutes.

All to myself.

After The Good Wife, I still had 30 minutes left. I had breakfast (eggs and toast) and busted out my Tropical Wonderland adult coloring book by Millie Marotta. I highly recommend it. I also stole my wife’s fancy colored pencils – it pays being married to an artist when you have a newfound coloring habit. She always has the best art materials!

Wouldn’t you know – it’s amazing how rejuvenated you can feel after taking just 90 minutes for yourself. By 9am I was ready to jump in with work and get started. And seeing as I felt much better mentally, I discovered that I was working more enthusiastically and effectively than I do when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

Funny, that.

So take 90 minutes for yourself this week. Do it for me. I’m telling you to do it. Do it now, do it tomorrow, do it this weekend, just DO IT. I promise you won’t regret it. I promise everything seems more manageable and sane after you reconnect with yourself.