“Angie, what are you knitting for Christmas gifts this year?”

Yep, that’s right, nothing.

Last year I knitted ALL THE THINGS. Almost everyone in my immediate friend and family circle got someone I made. I sent squishy packages all over the world to my international loved ones.

You know what? It was a ton of work. I got stressed out by shipping deadlines, I was literally knitting and crocheting until my hands were raw, and some people (who shall remain nameless) didn’t even really appreciate it. One person said, “Oh…a hat. Thanks.” (For the record that was a 100% alpaca CABLED HAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH.)

This year, I’m working on projects that make me happy. It’s been a hell of a year, I rarely make “selfish” projects, and I want to practice some self care in the way of sparkly yarn and pom poms.

I wandered through Pinterest last week and made a few different snowflakes and stars. I adapted some patterns but didn’t write them down (sorry!). I used a reject skein of my new Arendelle sequined yarn: it was rejected because I really, really wanted to keep a skein.

I’ve been baking up a storm in the kitchen, preparing Christmas cookies for my friends, family, and lucky coworkers and neighbors. What do you mean, dinosaurs aren’t traditional?

I made an awesome wreath out of pom poms and a floral wreath form. I used this form from Amazon, it’s a 20 inch form: I would accept no lesser wreath. There was yarn carnage (yarnage?) on the floor afterwards, but I think it turned out pretty good. My completely objective, totally unbiased opinion is that we have the BEST wreath in the whole building. That’s a fact that I just made up.

This week I will be going up to the Laughing Hens office in Cheshire for an office party, lunching with the fabulous Anna Nikipirowicz and lovely Merion, and Friday heading out with a dear friend to pick up some fancy tea for folks back in the States. This weekend will be comprised of gift wrapping, more cookies (of course), working on my Naughty Socks, and planning out designs for the new year.

Come at me, Christmas.

If you look closely, you can see EVERY SINGLE MISTAKE.

Last weekend, the wife and I went up to Edinburgh for a quick weekend getaway. The weather was gorgeously crisp, the sights were stunning, and my only regret was that we couldn’t stay longer. We took a bus to Scotland (what, you thought professional knitters/dyers have lots of cash? HA!) – a night bus on the way up, and a day bus home. I decided to work on my forbidden socks on the way back. And then, it happened.
I started thinking about embarrassing things that happened when I was 13 years old. Thanks, brain? Thanks. Real productive.

Before I embraced my status of non-athlete, I was on the basketball team for three years in middle school. I mostly played the position of “bench warmer,” probably due to the fact that the coach’s kid and friends were on the team. I was not a cool kid: I was very awkward during the awkward years. I took awkward to the next level. I once fell headfirst into a garbage can. I once told my friends to “act cool” immediately before falling down the stairs and cracking my tailbone. I once stood up during a test at school and faceplanted because I was tangled around the chair.

Once, while at band camp (don’t even quote that movie to me okay), I fell into a groundhog hole and lost my shoe.

Stupid DPNs, dropping all my stitches.

I was like a walking slapstick comedy, except I was the only one who wasn’t laughing.

Back to basketball, and back to knitting on the bus.

I was on the bus, working into the gusset of the sock. Making progress, and doing okay. And then I started to think about basketball in middle school – who knows why.

Brain: “Hey, remember when your coach kept calling you Angela even though you were on the team for three years?”

Me: *drops a stitch* Shit, gotta concentrate.

Brain: “And remember that time you tried to correct him?”

Me: *cables the wrong way, drops three more stitches* Oh my god, get it together, self.

Brain: “And remember how he said ‘Sit down, Angela’ after you said your name is Angie?”

Me: *drops 5 stitches, a DPN goes flying*

Brain: “And remember how you ran into him that one time at the grocery store in college and he said, ‘Hey Angela’?”

Me: *angry emoji face*

That DPN bounced off the window and actually fell into a heating vent. Picture it: me, using my wife’s phone as a flashlight, crouched down half under the bus seat, trying to retrieve my needle. Burning my arm on the heating element, fishing out the needle, and dropping it in again. Finally rescuing it, and then angrily repairing all the dropped stitches.

Knitting is usually calming for me, but I think the lack of external stimulus on the bus was an open invitation for my brain to be a total jerk. Thanks, brain.

So, as someone who works in yarn, and loves yarn, I uh, have a lot of yarn. Long ago in a galaxy far far away, my stash could comfortably fit in what I called “the craft cupboard.” It lived in there with abandoned beading projects, 150 skeins of DMC embroidery thread, and the 50 pack of bubbles we bought for our wedding 3.5 years ago and forgot to take to the reception.

Then I bought one of those storage ottomans, “just for easy access to my current project.” Then I got my first job in yarn, and the yarn started to pile up.

Literally, there were piles of yarn on every surface in our small apartment. Yarn on the dining table. Yarn on the coffee table. Yarn on my nightstand. Yarn on the desk. Sometimes, yarn in the kitchen. I could tell by the almost undetectable twitch in Sarah’s eye every time new yarn arrived that I’d have to come up with a solution before I drove my poor wife into a yarny grave.

So then I bought three of those huge foldable boxes from Ikea: at the time, I could easily sort my yarn into those boxes (one for aran and 4-ply, one for DK and  chunky, and one for super chunky and remnants.) Sorting them like that made it easier to know what was what when stash diving, rather than having similar weights in a box together. There was plenty of room in those boxes, until there wasn’t.

I bought another storage ottoman just to store my WiPs.

Eventually, I realized that I was having to cram yarn into the giant boxes, and gradually everything went from lovely and organized to me stuffing skeins and balls into the sides, growling, “GET IN THE BOX.” The corner where the boxes lived was looking like an episode of Hoarders. Yarn was escaping from the boxes and the surfaces in the apartment started to become yarn-covered before too long.

Last week, in a bid to get back into tidy habits, I fired up the Unf*ck Your Habitat app. I clicked “Random challenge.”

“Clean up your craft area: don’t get the scraps and ribbons take over!” 

I think this wonderful and optimistic app allotted 20 minutes for this activity. Being naive, I thought I could probably handle that.

I am a Sweet Summer Child.*

It might have taken 20 minutes, if I didn’t have to dump out, examine, and re-sort enough yarn to give most warehouses a run for their money. It might have taken 20 minutes if I didn’t also have a selection of my hand dyed yarns to sort, label, and store. It might have taken 20 minutes if I wasn’t me.

It was meant to be a quick lunch break cleaning task. Instead, it took me THREE HOURS. I ended up having to clean out part of my closet to move the big boxes into, resorting all of my WiPs, and putting needles, hooks, and stitch markers back where they belong. (Incidentally, my craft tools are in almost every drawer in the apartment. Oops.)

Because it took me THREE HOURS, I ended up really, really behind in my day’s projects. I ended up missing a social event that evening because I was too busy playing catch up!

The real kicker: the craft corner wasn’t even clean for 24 hours: there’s already another box of yarn over there, piled high with WiPs, a pom pom maker, and loads of yarn.

So you see? It’s all in vain. Clean the rest of the house if you will, but the craft area is some kind of sentient being who will do everything in its power to subvert your organization efforts. It knows what you’re thinking, so don’t even try it.

And did I mention? Out of sight, out of mind for that 24 hours meant I went and ordered more yarn. 

(For those of you who love the hand dyed cotton yarns, I have some awesome surprises in store for you soon!)

I’ve been struggling to figure out what to say in the light of the recent US election result. The only thing I’ve been able to manage so far is an endless cycle of hopelessness, crying, and anger. And then questioning, over and over again, “How? How? How?”
I woke up at 3am and watched the results come in. I was working on an email newsletter, and everything felt so surreal.

“What the hell am I doing working on this when the world is on fire?”

It’s times like these that craft and art can feel unnecessary, even gauche in the light of the fear and unease that people are feeling all around the world. A crisis (and that’s what this is, don’t be fooled by those trying to normalize it) tends to bring into sharp focus how we feel that we’re falling short in our lives. This was no different.

I sat, endlessly refreshing Twitter, watching my British friends and peers wake up to the news that he had won. I’ve been sick, so I couldn’t even eat my feelings or drown my sorrows, which seems like an extra “screw you” from the universe and the hellhole that has been 2016.

And then something started to happen: my fellow creatives stepped up to the plate and offered what they had. Designers like Kate Heppell and Wooly Wormhead offered coupon codes for free patterns from their Ravelry stores, my music friends started talking seriously about writing and performing protest music to raise money for at-risk groups in the US, and people made it clear: we’re not just going to take this. We may not have much, but we’ll share what we have.

That’s a beautiful thing.

And then my crochet compatriot Emma of Steel&Stitch started the Make it Better Social Club on Instagram: crafting of all kinds, with a focus to be positive and active in our communities. Making it better, one stitch or project at a time.

Yay! First ever #makeitbetter_sc grid!! Sone knitting from @crochyayboxes & @gamercrafting, a pretty sketch pic from @isthabraq & @katie_helga’s (my twin sis, hi twin sis! 😀) dress making patterns. . Thanks for all the voting, working on a new multi-craft peace pic for everyone. . Keep posting! Anything that brings you joy, or could bring joy to the rest of us #makeitbetter_sc Em xxx

A photo posted by makeitbettersocialclub (@makeitbettersocialclub) on Nov 12, 2016 at 11:34am PST

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I want to throw my hat into the ring: I want to make it better too. I want to teach people, I want to empower them to fight within their communities, and I want to use my creativity as a positive force in the world. I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to do that yet, but I’m definitely up for suggestions, strategy sessions over tea (and cake), or using what I can to turn this troubled world around.

Are you with me?

I’m that person that everyone complains about to their friends. “Ugh, did you hear Angie playing Christmas music at the party?” (lol jk I probably wouldn’t be at a party, who am I kidding?) More like “Angie won’t shut up about how excited she is about the holiday season, it’s driving me nuts. It’s not even December yet.“

All I can say is, #SorryImNotSorry.

Here’s the thing: as a musician, the holidays come early every year. We start rehearsing the more difficult stuff in October, and some choirs that only meet once a week start rehearsing in September. Ever since I was a kid I would be AMPED for the holidays in, like, September.

As a crocheter and knitter, we all know that holiday planning has to start early too. Just because you want to knit everyone a pair of socks doesn’t mean it will happen if you don’t start early enough and stay focused. (Note: this is not my goal, and will never be my goal. My friend Mike has been nagging me for years for socks, but he is woefully still sock-free.)

So from now until January 2nd, I am full speed ahead on the holiday train. I’m already comparing wrapping paper – last year’s was amazing. (Also note: my wrapping skills are okay, but in no way compare to my mom’s – she’s like some kind of gift wrap genie, and I can never hope to emulate her magical ways.) I’m getting ready to start the non-stop baking extravaganza, much to my wife’s chagrin (because she always ends up cleaning the kitchen when I’m done, sorry babe!). If enough of you ask, I might tell you the magical holiday story about how a box of cookies warmed a Grinch’s heart last year.

So, who’s with me? Will you be my army of holiday elves?

(PPssssst! Did you know that GamerCrafting is on Facebook? Did you also know that you can get exclusive deals on my hand dyed yarns there? Did you also also know that you can follow GamerCrafting on Bloglovin’ so you never miss a post?)

After looking at my list this morning, I’m being forced to admit that there’s no way in hell I will ever be able to finish all the things I had planned before the end of the year. There’s not enough time, too much to do, and as much as I’d like to think, I am not Wonder Woman.
Back in late June, I made a list of all the projects I had in-progress or wanted to finish by Christmas 2016/new year’s. It was definitely an ambitious list, but I can’t help feeling disappointed that I didn’t get to some things. Here’s a snippet of the list (leaving off some top secret projects):

Cthulhu dice bag: done (link)
Pokeball crochet pattern: done (link)
Snorlax cushion: not done
Geeky Christmas sweaters: not done
Project 1 for Magazine A: done
Tentacle boot cuffs: started

Here’s the progress I’ve made on the tentacle boot cuffs pattern so far! “But Angie, there’s hardly anything done…” Yes. Yes, you’re right. Progress has been stalled by the orange cowl that I posted on Tuesday, but I promise I’m working on it!

A photo posted by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Oct 13, 2016 at 11:38am PDT

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Project 2 for magazine A: done
T-shirt bag tutorial video: done (link)
Yarn dye batch three: done (Etsy link)

DRUMROLL PLEASE: the new #Pokemon themed yarns are now in the Etsy shop!! There are *very* limited quantities, so if you want some of this yarn, please don’t wait! There are four shades available: Squirtleiscious, Venusaurus Rex, Charmander Ember, and Pikachu Too. Each skein is 100g of superwash merino wool sock yarn (super smooshy), and £10 per skein. I’m headed to #theknittingandstitchingshow today, so check out my story if you want to see what I’m up to. *Please note: there are only 4-5 skeins of each shade available!* Etsy link: http://etsy.me/1OAaHAq

A photo posted by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Oct 7, 2016 at 2:15am PDT

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Begin super secret awesome project: not done
Vintage video game bunting: not done
Harry Potter tutorials and kits: not done
Geeky phone case pattern set: not done
Finish After the Rain sweater: done (link)

Finally back from Scotland (after over 15 hours of driving)! I’m almost recovered (haha just kidding I’m shattered), and there’s a new blog post up about why this sweater took me nine months to knit. Link in profile, it’s a story about how this almost ended up being honoured with a viking funeral. Happy Monday! *passes out from exhaustion*

A photo posted by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Sep 26, 2016 at 12:09pm PDT

//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js One Ball Challenge for Laughing Hens: done (link)
Second one ball challenge for Laughing Hens: done (link)

If you missed it last week, here’s my latest free #knitting pattern design: they are called “Caterpillar Mitts” and you can find the pattern on the blog (link in profile)! I hope you like them as much as I do, they’re a part of a new One Ball Challenge feature on the @laughinghens blog. ❤️❤️❤️

A photo posted by Angie Panozzo (@gamercrafting) on Sep 14, 2016 at 12:02am PDT

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So, okay, I guess I got a lot done – but I really, REALLY wanted to have this other stuff done in time. As a very Type A kind of person, I find it difficult to admit that I can’t do it all and say yes to every project. I don’t have 8 arms and I can’t knit and crochet 24 hours a day, as much as I might like to. I have other commitments and obligations, the kind that pay the bills – and I’m trying to learn how to make time for the other love in my life, music.

Instead of crafting last weekend, I recorded a parody of a country song about the US election. (link) It’s silly, it’s not “serious music,” but it’s a small step
back into what used to rule my life.

In short, while I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to DO ALL THE THINGS, I’m hopeful that some of these projects will still get done, just on a slightly different time scale.